Back in March there was a word given to me…three words, actually, from John Edmonds as part of a commissioning prayer. Fan into flames. Faithful. Be fearless.
I’ve been pondering on the third one.
Looking back at what I wrote that Sunday in April, I called out the fact that I still don’t wear my Christian identity totally comfortably, as I put it at the time: there is still social hesitancy. Which is honest. And probably more honest than I’d be if I was talking about this in Church.
The thing is Christianity hasn’t been part of my identity for a lot of my life. Many people I know and respect, people I work alongside, are atheists, or at least not particularly interested in faith. And for a while, stepping into church life felt like something I did quietly. Not hidden exactly. Just… not something I really put out there.
Posting about the commissioning on Instagram and Facebook was a bigger deal than it probably looked. I knew who was watching. I knew some of them would be surprised. I knew there would be judgement. But… I did it anyway.
And I’ve even started talking to my boss about stuff I’m up to with the church.
That one surprised even me, if I’m honest. But it felt ok. Not like a heartfelt declaration, more like… stopping the careful management of which version of me shows up where. More authenticity.
What holds me back isn’t doubt. It’s about fitting in, about not making people uncomfortable, about being the kind of person who doesn’t push their beliefs on others. Which is fine in principle. But it can become something else: a habit of disappearing yourself in situations where faith doesn’t fit in.
The word fearless doesn’t mean brash. It doesn’t mean leading every conversation with a gospel story or personal revelation. It means being more authentic and not arranging yourself around other people’s assumptions about who you are.
I’m still working on that. The social hesitancy doesn’t vanish because someone prays a word over you. But the word touches on something real, and naming it helps.
This is me, in April 2026, deciding to stop being quite so careful about it.